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𓀐 @yPa~Ywpk

⏱ 4d seenβ›“ 0πŸ‘ 0β§– 1

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Let me give you an example. For some people, "Working my ass off" means working 60 hour weeks. For me, "Working my ass off" means working 20 hour weeks. I am not joking, and I am not ashamed to admit this, because pushing myself to consistently work 20 hour weeks takes a very clear toll on my health and wellbeing, and it can only persist so long as I put a significant degree of force into keeping it this way. Every day, I wake up and my brain is effectively screaming at me to just play Counterstrike and zone out to music while I eat goyslop. To even fight this urge, to even be productive enough to write long-form text on the internet, I'm inculcating a certain amount of stress. If I then put a timer on and say, "Now you've got to do 4 hours of programming", I get significantly more stressed. The fact of the matter is that most of you can work 20 hours in a week without stress, without your hair falling out, without insomnia, without depression, without your skin going gray. I cannot. If I adopt this lifestyle, my health just gets absolutely and relentlessly torpedoed until I abandon this lifestyle. I have had multiple jobs -- both blue collar and white collar -- and this rule has held fast. I used to feel shame when I told people I don't work. I no longer feel this shame, because I know for a fact that I'm not doing anything wrong here. I take neither recreational nor psychiatric drugs. I do a 30 minute brisk walk each day. I get morning and evening sunlight exposure. I cut out nighttime blue light exposure. I've tried many "fad diets". There's virtually nothing else I can even conceive of, to explain what may be "flawed" about my lifestyle or why it is that I cannot work. Every day, I have to push myself to the brink to extract an amount of labor from myself which for the average person is nigh-on effortless. And there's no solution.⏱ 4d↩