{"contentHash":"ef0c29b097cbf7126e89be3bb79706bf4744ff988c7a1cec0998f8966346f6b7","protocol":"bitcoin","authorPubkey":"2a9b20ddc5b305e919b623f9d1e6e906b2166647316b6db94cfaa6293e8fd8a8","text":"I'm hetero but not insecure, and I still think about it years later because of the effect on my self-esteem that little interaction had on me for years. I was a shy kid and unwilling to engage in conflict, that made me feel effeminate. Also I was nothing like my father (who was a rugged, aggressive, explosive cop) and I was told over and over again that I looked like my mom and I was a lot like her and blah blah blah Despite girls saying I was cute and being slightly popular, I never felt better about my appareance. I hated my skin and my lips and I got bullied for it too (by closeted homosexuals and jealous peers). I wanted to be an ugly, scary motherfucker but I was never going to get there (I thought trying to act tough made me look clownish). Everytime I got bullied or got a compliment, everytime I got compared to my mom, I recalled that little encounter at the beach. This at some point led me to believe I was a freak of nature, that maybe I was supposed to be a woman but I was born as a man, but this wasn't the tranny \"yas I need to turn into a woman, my true self\" thing, it felt more like an accident of nature, like I would never be able to belong anywhere because I was a mashup of two incompatible things and I failed at being either of them, very succintly summed up by as \"having the face of a girl but the body of a boy\", what the fuck was that? A freak. It took me years to get over this. Reading Jung and finally growing facial hair were a huge help.","topicHash":"0447196ba9b8e4a587001ab0fbc2df00ada80f5c88d68891e15f032e45321e8a","topicName":"literature","parentHash":null,"costSunk":"0","biasSupport":0,"biasOppose":0,"biasVouch":0,"biasNull":0,"blockHeight":null,"confirmations":0,"timestamp":"2026-11-04T22:07:42.536Z","tripFp":"42d43841d831","viewCount":0,"powDifficulty":0,"relation":0,"ephemeral":true,"nonce":"ebafc7de842e76cb","sig":"8a42f141ab519a38d8e1afd8df520fc71122585e1c498c3a6530744a43f1810169b695d9ca52aba6901ef1fcea7e96868ac9b59ca3b3a388d045b906d11ac109","ephStamp":{"blockHashHex":"0000000000000000000012c7a5d3cf979ce0097a957ec8b990d56d21251ffeba","nonceHex":"d196000000000000"},"replyCount":0,"chainReplyCount":0,"vaporReplyCount":0,"clusterSize":1,"receiptHeight":974593,"expiryHeight":978913,"authorMarks":{"since":"2026-11-04T17:07:20.635Z","via":"sight","inscribed":0,"likes":0,"biases":0},"lang":"en","servedBy":{"host":"6af58b1822e0cabfe57d76540f745d059b438f489a796ec6a705c6540233845e","t":"2026-11-10T04:30:50.449Z","sig":"7905bbc89961f4d8efe7a7875658a4a00d942bb37d6ee2edc90c706bb03c10ee9ccdbcadaa2e4dae509e3789c96f74c01f2f73e665539b7a930c555cc4d518ea","h":"0000000000000000000141f15457e748a34aefc732f7ee674c7ef89b04d00de9"}}