You know what i have thought about just doing it but I cant bring myself to. Don't get me wrong I get horny, I just find it incredibly unreasonable to just act on horniness. Now I got horny around this one guy, but again who tf am I to pop my pum for a nigga that explicitly said he wasn't into black girls. Nigga kept me around til a white chick came along. So glad i never let my horniness take me god bless. In fancier terminology. I have thought of removing this glorified idea of the right time and the right place and this one perfect moment in time, but good sir there are more things in this equation. Its hard to entrust somebody with the most vulnerable thing about you. Its hard to show your true colors. And its hard to undress in front of someone when you've never ever done it before. I've lived my life as a reserved person, who never got to be vulnerable with people outside family due to how I was raised. I was never supposed to ask for help or cry or be a bitch. But all the sudden I see how big of a load it is to never be able to let loose. But like I said black womanhood is purgatory that's what I be sayin. >I’m biracial and have a black parent We aren't the same tho... Read above story I got replaced for a white chick by the one guy I have ever been vulnerable with. Like ofc I'm gonna be a bit dazed by it all. Im by no means dissatisfied with being black that being said colorism is real and im of a darker complexion and I have many a time been disfavoured for a white girl or Asian or lightskin. Matter of fact I was ridiculed by my mom for having curler hair than my sisters and deeper skin so she would put lightening cream on my constantly. Im just making an observation, and I think trying to pretend that isnt that big a deal is ridiculous. Its affecting every part of my life, but it gives me a birds eye view on gender norms and racism. I relate to the most marginalised groups intimately. I appreciate what you're written though, because I know you mean well by it. And believe me im quite optimistic and resilient. I don't seek advice from folk here really, but I don't blame you for thinking that because that's what it looks like. Really I'd just like to vent but also ask out of curiosity but also to get insight and jest to get in a better mood. And sure I know some men like black women but the fact remains the same, black women are masculinized, dehumanised and are generally seen as undesirable. They get treated harshly comparatively to other women. Now let me expand on this cuz im in a very (white) male dominated stem field and god damn am I invisible compared to the white girls but also looked down upon like a retard for being a female. I get 0 benefits its ridiculous. >To be continued....

⬆ upvote 0