>Is the biggest whitepill/blackpill the knowledge that there's nothing after death? >Anytime I want, I can just end it all? You need to conduct a Pascal's Wager mate: there are infinite ways in which thought could proceed and a finite number of ways in which thought could not proceed. Pascal's Wager strongly suggests you should become Buddhist, because you are going to [or are already in] hell, and you had better fucking learn to deal with it.